Why is there no official comparison for gum?

Gum, gum is many things. To some people it is awesome chewy candy, to others it is a reliable breath freshener, an addictive habit or gross. Whatever, it is, there is one fact that remains. There are far too many brands/types of gum.

I mean different types of gum take up almost an entire set of shelves near the cashier of any convenience store. With all of those choices how is a person supposed to choose gum that is good for them. And that is not counting all the different flavors, longevity and approvals by dentists.

Why is it that there has no been no official comparison between all the major gum brands and their respective products in the world. By major I mean the bigger companies like Wrigleys and Cadbury Adams. I don't expect to find a comparison between some buffalo wing flavored gum made by some guy in his basement and Juicy Fruit. Like there should be some huge official table, that scientists in a laboratory have prepared after months of intricate testing. I guarantee that it would not be a waste of money, it would be so much more beneficial to the world than cures for diseases. With such a table one could properly way the pros and cons of gum they are interested in buying.

On a side note, I had no idea some many gum brands were owned by two big companies. I mean Wrigley owns: Juicy Fruit, Big Red, Hubba Bubba, Excel, 5,Bubble Tape, Freedent, Extra, Orbit , Altoids(I know it isn't gum, but it still freshens your breath in a candy form) and Big League Chew. While Cadbury Adams owns: Bubblicious, Chiclets, Clorets, Dentyne, Stide, Trident

On a further side note, why does 5 gum need to have "hip" names for all of its gum flavors. It has cool commercials sure, but I mean, Cobalt= Peppermint, Flare=Cinnamon , Elixir=Berry. Why not just keep the same normal names, stop trying to appeal to hipsters. No good hipsters with their slick goatees, oddly shaped/colored sunglasses and strange types of coffee. I don't buy types of gum for the gum's cool name, I buy it for taste and longevity. Which is exactly why we need this comparison.

On an even further side note, why has the concept of gum not moved on to other types of food besides candy. Why is there no widespread roast beef with gravy gum, that you can chew to mimic the taste of a nice dinner. Perhaps, due to some widespread food conspiracy concocted by some insidious group of clocked figures. Some group that may even be controlled by none other than space lizards. Those crafty space lizards.