Best Way to Get your Mind Off Pounds

It's simple, just switch to the Metric system.

In all seriousness if anyone has seen the movie Watchmen and has fond memories of growing up with Saturday morning cartoons of the 90s it is important for you to watch this amusing video. I can't get the great jingle out of my head. If you haven't seen the movie be careful the video may ruin elements of the plot for you.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YDDHHrt6l4w

I would imagine most people are aware of Bioshock 2, the first game was awesome, and advise people to check out Gametrailers TV this week on spike for a new exclusive look at it. Regarding Bioshock 2, I wonder if there will ever be Big Mommies, I know there will be a Big sister, wouldn't it be weird if there's a whole Big family, kinda like the A& W family. I sure could go for a Mama Burger right about now.

Warning Optical Mice Ruin Magazines

I've come to realize over the last several weeks that using a magazine for a mouse pad is not a good idea, at least not with optical mouses.

Because I am too cheap to buy a real mouse pad, to achieve desired smoothness in my mouse's movements I have been using a variety of magazines. However, a deeply troubling problem has arrived. After an extended period of use the magazine's once silky glossy finish has become rough, riddled with strange dark spots, and in some cases smears. Now I'm not one to jump to conclusions but it is my educated guess that optical mice cause magazine cancer. So if you have that sweet new issue of (insert magazine here) and do not want to ruin it I suggest you revert to your old ball mice.

Additionally, using my limited knowledge of human biology I assume that this means optical mice can cause cancer in humans, space lizards and cloaked birds. Therefore it is encumbent of every man women and child to hurl their optical mouse onto the floor. Better yet, somone should start an organization to collect these defective products and turn them into someone really useful. A giant optical laser capable of disintegrating any pesky space lizards that may happen to stumble upon Earth. He he, what a beamingly good idea, get it, beam-ingly like laser beam...because you know..like...........dam you people of no sense of humor. Get it dam, like a Beaver dam, like a Darth Beaver dam, hahaha.....cause beavers like to......keep out wolves.....never mind. Entry Over

Tourism Australia

Why would anyone in their right mind want to go to Australia? I mean you get like the worst of every animal possible there.

It has one of the few birds that can kill humans. That's right, a Cassowary is like a pissed of emu. An emu with razor talons with a crest that can be used to headbutt people to death. Wikipedia says, Cassowaries are very shy, but when disturbed, they are capable of inflicting fatal injuries to dogs and children. Hear that dog lovers, seems these birds are not merely content with killing children, but now target dogs.

It has platypuses, oh yeah sure they are cool looking, but do you know they are poisonous? It's true they have spurs near the ankle that is venomous . While the venom is non-lethal to humans it can still kill dogs. Dammit Australia, leave our dogs alone!!!!!

Heck, even Kangaroos can punch you to death, its true, I saw it once. A Kangaroo with punching gloves was beating to death a homeless man who stole its joey for food (joey is the infant). And wombats, any animal whose name rhymes with combat is no good in my books. They may look like furry foot stools, but did you know that its "sheer weight makes a charging wombat capable of knocking an average-sized man over, and their sharp teeth and powerful jaws can result in severe wounds" (Wikipedia).

And what about poisonous snakes, oh Australia is home is to several deadly snakes like the Death Adder. A snake so vile that it chose its name because it loves that horrible tv show the Black Adder with Rowan Atkinson, boy that show is bad. "Oh' Ill just be in the water, there is no snakes there right?" Wrong, sea snakes my friend, some that can kill you.

Don't get me started on the water. Deadly sharks, most dangerous jellyfish alive, toxic sea snails, stupid camouflaging stone fish, even some corral in the water can cause injury. Stay out of the water.

It has the Funnel Web spider which according to Wikipedia is "a notoriously aggressive species and is among the deadliest spiders in the world." I don't know about you but a small docile non-harmful spider still is pretty scary, so why would you want to go to a place with spiders that chase your around merely to sting you?

You know the reason the English sent convicts to Australia to being with is that they thought the animals would kill them outright. However, through some divine miracle humanity has survived the constant struggle against the ruthless creatures located there. Nevertheless, the lesson is clear do not go to Australia, stay out.